Downfall

Sometimes i wish i was stronger

The slightest things can make me sad or make me angry and they really shouldn't 

I wish there was a tablet i could take that would rid me of some of these irritating uncontrollable emotions

I hate letting people see me cry and i hate not being able to stand up for myself in the way that i want to.

People will always take advantge because i seem weak and my emotions will always be my downfall. 

The Brightest Star

Sometimes you want something from the bottom of your heart but maybe it just wont happen, no matter how hard you dream. 

We all do it - dream of seeing our name in lights but it seems so far, far away.

All you really want is someone to express yourself to but no-one seems to hear you, no matter how loud you scream out for help.

People see you under a dark cloud but continue on and pretend to see nothing.

But one day it might just be too late.

They care but you no longer wanna give them the chance to care, the chance to be there.

The chance to notice how bright your star truly shines. 

How do you know when to give up?

Sometimes 'love' can be very painful, and no matter how much your significant other keeps hurting you, you stay around... This leads to you feeling like a fool and wondering if things will ever get any better, and it becomes a pattern

Despite what everyone around you is telling you, for some crazy reason you just keep holding on - despite the tears, the hurt and the loneliness.

You wonder if that person will ever see what is in front of them, and then you begin doubting yourself.... Am I too fat, am i not pretty enough etc etc

every time you try to put yourself first it doesn't even work coz that other person might not even notice or care....

you speak to them about how you feel but nothing changes, its just the same old "baby ima do right" but still, nothing changes

they make all these big empty promises with no intention of ever fulfilling them

my advice to anyone in this situation - just give up as soon as the bullshit starts..... or you will live to regret it and wish you ad valued yourself more. 

Peace and love

Hair Update

So i used the tresemme naturals conditioner again and i was more satisfied with the results this time.

It made my hair a lot lighter, so it took less time to dry and absorbed grease a little bit better.

Obviously it won't produce miracle results instantly but its definitely off to a better start.

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I am also now considering goin full on CG method but i am still a little weary. I don't like the idea of no shampoos and having to wash or at least moisten your hair daily... This would be very time consuming for me as i hqve thick and my hair always takes really long to do....

I think for now i will stick to following some of the CG method, not all of it.... For now anyway.

Hair Update - Tresemme Naturals

okay so continuing on with my hair journey, i tried a new product from the tresemme naturals line, the silicone free conditioner.

i didn't see much difference in my hair after washing, it was still as dry as it usually is.... but i have decided i will give it another go just to see if i will notice anything different this time.

one new method i am also trying out is avoiding towel drying my hair as i think this makes my hair more dry before blow drying which is probably bad for my hair.

a second verdict of the silicone free conditioner is coming soon

THIS BLOG WAS WRITTNE BEFORE THE PREVIOUS ONE, BUT NEVER POSTED

No Justice, No Peace - Justice for Trayvon

BOkay so we all know the story of Trayvon Martin and how he was innocently killed by George Zimmerman; its been all over the media, and loads of celebrities are supporting the cause

So over this weekend, a lot celebrities had changed their avatars on instagram, and were posting a specific picture and i later found out that these were to commemorate Trayvon's death as his killer was on trial.

I woke up this morning to find out that george zimmerman has been found innocent........

Which makes me think a few things - if Trayvpn had been a young white boy would his killer have been found guilty? If george zimmerman had been black and Trayvon been white, i personally think its highly likely that the killer wouldnhave been found guilty in this instance.

Some media sources have been using pictures of Trayvon which show him in a bad light, but he was young - we all do silly things when we're young, yet they go out of their way to put up pictures of him posing with his middle fingers up...why?

Another thing to note about this situation is that george zimmerman doesnt even look white, he looks like he could be latino or some other ethnic minority which makes me think he could have experienced some sort of racism at some point, yet he assumes black male + hoodie in a nice neighbourhood = danger.

This story reminds me ofnthe story of Stephen Lawrence - black male innocently killed by a group of white guys, yet a lot of people in the uk refused to see them as guilty, and it took so long for his family to finally be at peace. Except this time around there has been no justice and there might never be.

Fashion Hot Shot No. 2

so today i went shopping with my friend and realised that i want a maxi dress - despite living in england, the land of shitty summer weather.

then i realised that since i'm a short girl, i'd have to either get a maxi dress from a store that has a petite section (the more expensive option) or buy a regular length one and get it hemmed..

i am officially on a maxi dress mission!

as for my desired wet look leggings, i ended up ordering a pair from boohoo.com but when they came i was seriously disappointed. i expected that they'd be quite form fitting, so i'd ordered a size bigger than i'd normally get but they were way too big and didn't even look like proper wet look leggings :(