"I'm Happy in America" says Estelle

British native R&B singer Estelle moved to the States a few years back, to work on her second album 'Shine', and is now saying she has no idea when or if she will ever return to the UK permanently. Despite feeling settled in the US, she says she still misses her family and friends, she feels happier and more comfortable making her mark in the music industry over there.

'I have been over there for almost five years now,' Estelle shared. 'People always ask me, 'When are you coming back?' And I am like, 'Well I am signed out there so I don't know.''

Her decision to relocate to America has benefited her in many ways. she's not only collaborated with some big name artists but she has also won awards for her efforts, finally achieving the recognition she deserves.

"'I do come over and back, I just don't announce it to the world that I am back. I come back to see my family and just chill,' she added. 'I miss Ribena and shopping is different over here, you know"

Friends, Family and Money

I haven't blogged for a while, and though it's time that i got back to business.

the thing that is really grinding my gears right about now, is that four different people owe me money, totalling £159. anyone who knows me will know that im not some millionaire; i work hard for the very little that i have, but some people dont appreciate that fact.

some seem to think money grows on trees, or that those of us who work have unlimited money. well lemme tell you - we dont!!!

the funniest thing is, one of the people who owe me money is constantly bragging that her dad is a doctor and he'll pay for anything, but when you needed money, did he give it to you? no! you had to come to me. to make matters worse, she threw herself an 18th birthday party, costing god knows what, but stll hasn't given me my assclart money!!

i just had to let this rage out of me, coz i am feeling to cuss right about now.

#rageover

Is Daddy To Blame?

as time has been going on, i've noticed that a lot of females seem to have trust issues when it comes to men.

now most of them blame it on their own experiences with men, but is it possible that they are basing it upon the fact that their own father was an unreliable, untrustworhy male?


some females are so scared to open up to men, that they push them away or are already expecting them to fail and break their trust. the lack of a father (if that is the situation)in a female's life definitely affects the sort of relationships she has in the future

they say that women tend to marry a man who is exactly like their father, so does that mean that some women will marry (or shack up with) an unreliable man who fucks and ducks them, doesnt care for their children and doesn't support them? i'm afraid that for some people this is the case, but then again, we can also place the blame on the mothers of today.

i know a girl whose mother had her first child when she was 14; by the time this girl was 15, she had already had sex with about 6/7 different guys in the space of about a year...

i think if you grow up around the wrong influences, you follow/copy the behaviour that you are shown from a young age

the same goes for kids who see their mother being abuse both physically or mentally by their fathers. the boys go on to do the same to their women, and the girls grow up thinking its ok for a guy to abuse them...

in my eyes, all the issues go back to the parents - parents need to learn to censor themselves around their children and need to show them the correct examples for what kind of behaviour is acceptable in the future.

personally, i think my perceptions of men and relationships have been affected by what i've seen between my parents.

i know that if/when i get married, i will definitely not be waiting on my husband like some kinda slave, and i wont be involving any kids i might have in our arguments.

i might seem like a man-basher, but i'm really not. i just talk about what i see

Why Is Every Bitch Bisexual These Days?

For the past few years, more and more girls have been claiming to be 'bisexual'. The craze seemed to start when Nicki Minaj was beginning her rap career. I don't know much of her old stuff, but she supposedly used to talk quite openly about being bisexual etc....

This obviously gassed a few girls up, especially with celebrity gossip sites like Mediatakeout contstantly claiming that people such as Rihanna & Cassie were bisexual (at one point they were claiming Nicki Minaj & Cassie were having a three-way love affair with Diddy -_-)

Nicki has stated in interviews that she is not bisexual!! She might talk like she is in some of her songs, but that's obviously just so that people notice her and keep her name in their mouths. The bad thing about this whole situation is that these celebs are gassing up these senseless little girls' heads and making them think it's 'cool' to be bisexual.

I personally have no problem with females who like females, and I can appreciate a beautiful woman but that doesn't mean that I am a lesbian or bisexual.

As far I am concerned, this whole fake bisexuality thing needs to stop, so that those females or males who feel that they actually are bisexual will be able to have someone to talk to, and get some serious advice

Give it up bitches!

"Mean Girls" / Girls Aren't The Only Bitches

The official stereotype is that girls are all bitches who secretly can't stand each other - thanks to movies like Mean Girls.

As a girl, I can say that unfortunately, this is true in some cases. In school, there were people I pretended to like, but it was because I didnt want to have to deal with them starting a conflict. These girls were the kind of people that would suddenly hate you one day, and be your best friend the next. So it was best for everyone for me to pretend that I was cool with them. As soon as school was done, we no longer spoke (thank God)

But funnily enough, I never really saw the white and asian girls having fights among themselves; it always seemed to be the black girls. I think that's what it is, black girls just don't know how to be cool with each other with no conflicts, they always have to have a reason to hate someone or to make one single person feel like shit.

I remember times when they would choose who to single out, but I was usually the victim. There was a point where I had about two friends in the entire school. But the joke is, the whole thing started with just two of the girls, then one by one they all decided to stop talking to me.

When this happened, it taught me that I can't trust anybody except myself, especially when it comes to females.

So for about 6 months, I kept myself to myself and stayed away from the bitches. Then all of a sudden, the original two who started the whole thing decided they wanted to be my friends again.

That year I spent my birthday with four people.

At the beginning of the next school year, they were all talking to me again, as if they had never done anything. This is why I am now cautious about the friends I make.


I'm sure there are people who think that boys don't act bitchily, but I know they do - I've seen the behaviour with my own two eyes. Boys' bitchiness is just more sly, they do it in ways you wouldn't realise - like excluding someone from a football game, or not bringing them in on the latest batch of pussy.

But then when it comes down to it, boys are more likely to be honest about their bitchiness - they don't care who knows, its like they're challenging the other person to a fight, coz a "real badman don't need to front"

The one similarity between male bitchiness and female bitchiness is that one day two people can be enemies, the next you'll see them walking around together like best buds again. For example, one day I was walking out of school, and there was an older girl walking nearby, talking about how much she 'hated' a girl in my year. The next day, I saw her holding hands with the girl -_-

Whatever Happened to the 90's?

Remember the good days of Nickelodeon & the Cartoon Network? When we used to run home to watch programmes like these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at2H82h7bDU&feature=related

Then we would spend the next day at school discussing what we had watched on TV the night before... Those were the days!


Now we have crap on our kids channels like iCarly (what the fuck is that about)& the Naked Brothers Band *rolls eyes* Even the their titles dont have the same pizazz as they did back in the days; its like a bunch of TV channel executives got together and came up with the stupidest names for programmes they could think of, then filled their plot lines with utter BULLSHIT!

This is probably the reason for all these little kids running around having sex before their time; they aint got anything better to do, so they might as well give each other hand jobs :)

Even music has changed drastically - we went from having groups like S Club 7 singing about parties and stuff that actually made sense to little kids, to people like Nicki Minaj (no offence to her hardcore fans) singing/rapping about putting her pussy on someone's sideburns -_-

Standards of 'talent' have severely dropped as well; up until about 2005, the majority of SOLO singers were actually talented (obviously if they were in a group then the crap vocals were hidden by the good ones); then people like Rebecca Black, Cheryl Cole and Justin Bieber are suddenly getting signed and becoming superstars and they aint even all that!

Cheryl Cole's voice is mediocre, she only made it this far with her solo career coz she's got the hookup's
Justin Bieber has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deserve having an autobiographical movie -_-
As for Rebecca Black..... She can just go and sit underneath a rock!

Rage: A Few Things I Had To Get Off Of My Chest

1 - SLUTS/SKETS/HOES - Whatever you wanna call them. Its like they don't realise that they are fucking loose! They think that what they are doing is normal and acceptable. Well darling, it's not. Can't you just keep your fucking legs shut for a bit? Don't you feel disgusted by yourself at times? And don't even get me started on the ones that constantly chase other girls' mans. He is clearly someone's man so just give the fuck up, and find a new man to pump you on a regs. The dumb ones that do things in public places, are you not ashamed you fucking dirtz? As for the ones who do things in front of people, do you not realise that if 'man' really likes you, he would not sex you in front of his 'mandem'. He does not respect you, you dumb bitch. You ones that go around dealing with or beating multiple boys, can you not stick to one man? That is fucking ridiculous. Cha Nah Man! Some of you actually shame the name 'sket'.

2 - 'MANDEM' - These boys nowadays are running around getting excited coz they're in a crew. Fucking ridiculous. All these 'mans' must have no aims in life, coz they spend hours jammin on road. Some of these niggas get dressed in the morning just to go and stand in the center of Croydon looking 'ardbody'. Some even think this is an achievement in life. These boys eventually end up getting some poor innocent girl (occasionally a fellow hoodrat, but usually a girl who had goals) pregnant, or end up incarcerated - some boys even do both! Oh yeah, and what is the attraction to McDonalds? No matter what ends i go to - Bromley, Brixton, Croydon, Lewisham, Peckham & even Sutton - there is a group of 'mans' just jammin there.

3 - 'MANDEM' PART 2 - Why do you boys only go after a girl for sex, and when you don't get it, you get pissed and move onto a next girl. Its like you don't want a relationship - but you don't want a 'stoosh' girl - yet you complain when there is a loose chick on your case. I bet you wish you stuck to the stoosh one. You boys love calling girls ugly, and when a girl becomes so used to hearing that she's ugly, you decide to start telling her she's pretty. Kumtah!

4 - 'MANDEM' PART 3 - Boys, please don't think you are smart. You can't move to one girl, and then try it with her friend, like say girls don't talk about their relationships and stuff. Don't say dumb things like "Mans feelin you, i think you should come see me some time". And why bother moving to a girl when you know she has a man, and even when she reiterates this fact to you, you say "why you tryna boi man?" Utterly ridiculous.

5 - LIARS - I'm not even tryna say I've never lied, but i don't understand why people constantly feel the need to gas up situations, like say the people involved can't jsut be questioned. In case you don't realise, your lies affect other peoples' lives, you fucking numpty.

And finally,

6 - MAN-HUNGRY CHICKS - You don't fall into the same category as skets because you're not necessarily having sex with them. But these girls actually are bitches. They are so desperate to please their man, that they're willing to ditch their bredrins for man, yet when you get dumped, its those same bredrins that you ditched that you go crying to. When these girls get a man, its as if their whole lives have to be all about them. Pshh... If they really 'loved' you, they would accept that you have friends. But then some boys do accept that, but the girl still wants everything to be about him. Some chicks get moisted by their man in front of people, sometimes on a daily basis, but they still sit there and take it. Skeen, let any man try that with me, I will fucking moist you even harder.

Rage: A Few Things I Had To Get Off Of My Chest 2

Let Me Lay Out The Scenario ... me and my girls are casually jamming in a 'rave' (notice I said jamming - at a RAVE, but I'll come back to that in a minute), and then some any Fobbi Lolo (aka FOBS for those that don't know) that we unfortuantely knew entered. Now at first we though "oh, he won't bother us. He'll just say 'hi' and go about his business." Boy, were we wrong. Anyways, to cut a long story short, this "boy" (or so he claims to be. I suspect he's actually 25) thought he could be as sly as a rat, and would attempt to "game" each and every member of our group, despite the fact that three out us had already rejected Mr. Fobbi Lolo. Now, you're probably wondering, what was the point of her writing this? Well, I'm basically letting any boys who think they are smart that they should never attempt to "move to" more than one person out of a group of friends, especially not under the same roof.

As for the rest of you grandpa's, I beg oh - get the message please. I don't know what kind of foolish non-entities you've been encountering when you're out on but I beg you go home and read a book.

Anyways, let's get back on track...

GIRLS WHO FEEL THE NEED TO REP THEIR ETHNICITY/SKIN COLOUR IN THEIR FACEBOOK NAME - Notice how long that title is... Over the past few months, I have noticed many variations, from 'Cubaniita' to 'Boom Lightiie' to 'Miixed-Race' and finally, 'Brownin'. I'm sure that I'm not the only person who tihs, and the fact that they usually put a double 'I' further highlights their ignorance, boredom and stupidity. Before anyone comments on the fact that I currently have 'Ghana' in my name, it is simply there because I am proud that my country is competing in the World Cup (yah dun kno, sho sho!) One thing I've also noticed is that these 'girls' are usually either ugly, and only show their body in their profile picture, or they have a Kat Stacks-style fringe covering most of their face. Now I know it may sound like I'm hating, but I'm really not. I'm simply stating the facts. Obviously, there are a few who are genuinely pretty/decent, but they're a whole 'nother topic...

Which leads onto my next topic:

GASSED-UP GIRLS/BOYS -Notice I said BOYS not MEN. Gassed-up boys really hannoy me, and get on my tits. Why do you even exist? OK, I'm not gonna front - So maybe I like you, once upon a time (don't worry, I'm on the correct medication now), that doesn't mean you should think your name is Reanno Gordon (Busy Signal ♥) and walk through Croydon singing "Man ah Gyallist", coz it's more like "Man ah GASSED." If you catch me looking at you for long periods of time, don't think I'm salivating over you/getting wet - I'm actually thinking "Lawd God, he a ugly mu'fucka", and I don't necessarily mean physically. Most people who are pretty on the outside are rotting away on the inside.

As for you gassed females - Are you deh craze? Firstly, all you TWATS calling yourselves Mrs Neverson, there's only one word for you - "WISHIN!" as an old friend used to say. What fool borned you onto this good Earth? Keep fantasising that Trey Songz is gonna come whisk you off on tour with him, just coz he said "Which one of y'all goin' home with Trigga." You're more likely to meet Giggs (aka The Biggest Thing Out of Peckham) while you're wandering around in Westfield's frontin' like you got that kinda money -_-

And to those of you who sit at home and get wet over so-called "Hood Celebs", I beg you go to the library and check out a book. If you think being a female hoodrat is a good luck you stay there then, while the rest of us are adding letters to our names.

DEAD-OUT RAVES - Do not tell me it's gonna be a 'roadblock' event - That was the first lie you told. Second lie - telling me it's free entry before 11pm or whatever. It's hard times out here and you're making poor people like me gassed thinking we're gonna rave it up for free -_- These times I'm hungry and you're gonna be lucky if I even have enough money, otherwise I woulda bought my food and gone home to my bed. Also, if you want people to actually attend your rave, do not hold it at the NW10 "Club" aka Dreamz. It should really be called Nightmarez coz that's what I was having after I foolishly went to that "club". This foolish piece of crust tryna masquerade as a club didn't even have toilet roll, hot water or proper heating, and please tell me why the walls were wet? As my yardie chums would say, AH WAH DI RASCLART, BOMBACLAT YUH AH TEK DIS FAH?!"

Rage: A Few Things I Had To Get Off Of My Chest 3

MANS WITHOUT SKILL - Or NG's as Josh likes to call them. What is the point of your life? It's not even just boys our age, it's fucking Grandpa's as well. Just the other day I was walking along and I could sense someone watching me. I turned around saw that some next grandpa was standing there raising his eyebrows at me. And today, once again the same thing happened to me at the train station. Fucking Pervs!

GRANDPA'S - OK, now I know I'm not exactly the most baby-face girl on Earth, nor am I the most flat-chested, but Grandpa's, we call you that for a reason, and that reason is because some of you are old enough to BE my grandpa. And that's saying something coz my granddad is about 75.

MANDEM PART 5 - Boys, the fact that i have had to mention you in every single one of these is a sign. A sign that y'all need to fix up, quick time. Girls, I know you must hate it when a guy PESTERS you for your number, but never holla's at you. If you don't have credit, don't ask me for my number. If a girl says she doesn't wanna give you her number, accept it, don't make her resort to having to say she is a lesbian. Cha Nah Man!

MANDEM PART 6 - Do I look like some next Miss Lucy to you? For those of you who don't know who Miss Lucy is, say the name and hopefully you'll work it out. If you still don't understand, just ask me. Anyways... Boys, when you see my face do you think 'Yeah, that's my next beat st-hi-ll!'? Coz the way some niggas talk to me, they really must think that. And then when i shut you down, you get all upset. Do I really look like the kind of girl who would give head to some random boy. And although I hate to say it, Poppy, you were right. "He Only Wants You For Your Chest!"

MANDEM PART 7 - Why, oh, why do you lie about being a virgin, when you so BLATANTLY aren't. I can just about understand why a girl would lie about being a virgin - even though it's harder for a girl to fake her virginity. Like really, what are you gonna gain from doing so? And exactly what are you hoping to prove? It's just ridiculously stupid, especially if you're only saying you're a virgin because a girl said she is. Kumtah!

RELATIONSHIPS - This is not just to boys, its to girls as well. Boys- If you like a girl, don't go on a longting about it, be honest at least, it won't hurt you to do so. If you only want a link, tell her from the start, don't lead her on by treating her like your girlfriend, and then when you have a fight say "you're not my girl!" If you do like her enough to be in a relationship, then do it - get together. Because from a girl's point of view, it hurts when a guy just forgets about you, or treats you like a doormat. Girls - Obviously, I'm not saying lay down on the ground and let them walk over you, but it you really like him that much you would try and show it, alie?

RELATIONSHIPS PART 2 - Here's a tip: at the beginning of a new relationship, there should be some boundaries set down. Boys - If you're the kind to let your girl go to a shubz alone, expect her to bruck out. If you really don't want her to get too nasty, tell her not to go too far. Girls - If you have a man, be aware of your surroundings, for example, people with cameras, coz if you told your man that you weren't planning to bruck out, don't get caught. If you go to a shubz together, accept the fact that your man will probably wanna dance with other girls, or other girls will at least be tryna push up on that. Expect it if your man is hot stuff.

AM I A PRICK? - People really seem to think that just because there are times when I'm sitting there all quietly and shit that, I'm a pushover. Think again bruda. People who actually know me will tell you that I'm a rude little bitch. And I'm glad to be, coz I've had enough of fake friends and people that think my name is Jimmy Bobby Laddy the Third... Coz it really ISN'T. I've had enough, and be warned: You Really Have NOT Seen My True Colours.

Rage: A Few Things I Had To Get Off Of My Chest 4

SEX - No offence to those among us who aren't virgins, but some of you really need to bump the following songs: Lyfe Jennings - SEX and Next - Beauty Queen. Both of these songs are about a young girl who is being used for sex. This relates back to the first part of 'Rage' - to the SLUTS/SKETS/HOES section. I'm not gonna name any names here, even though it would be more effective with names attached... But I've spoken to a number of girls after they've lost their virginity... Most said they regretted either the age they lost it at, or the person they lost it to. I feel so sorry for these girls because they've wasted their one opportunity to lose their virtue, and they've lost it to guy who's name they might not even remember in 20 years.

SEX PART 2 - It's like everybody is in a rush to lose their dignity; the one thing that will help you to truly remain innocent. And then you have these dumb bitches who think jsut because they've been popped, they should give intimate details of their sexcapdes. I think not. There is a truly brilliant quote that would sum this whole thing up, but it can't be used it as everybody will know who the girl in question is. Here is a clue : "Cah Mi Haffi Whine Pon Di Cocky Like This" :)

FRESHIES - I'm not just talking African freshies, I'm talking Yardies as well. I will never forget the day some yardie man, called Joe, moved to me and told me that if I came to see him, he would 'Make It Worth My While'. Yikes! And then there's them HIDEOUS Somalian freshies who think they're hot stuff and try and talk to me when they can't even speak proper English... And then you get the Facebook Freshies. The ones who send me messages saying "hi girl u are lookin so fine beautiful, so fine girl y don't u come to me so da r i can take good care of u trust me girl, iand i wil make sure u are safe beautiful ok so pls fine girl if u are happy with dat u cal on dis No.07958****468 ok beautiful so take care talk to u soon". Yeah, I'm really gonna call you babes. I really ahte it when freshies come to me tryna talk slang: "You Cool B...Wha Gawan".

FRESHIES PART 2 - Here's some advice girlies. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever go to Brixton Market on a hot day. You will have comments such as "(Jamaican Accent) You Look Nice" directed at your breasts.

HOOD CELEBRITIES - This paragraph ain't even the after-effects of me having drunk a gallon of 'Haterade', but being a hood celebrity is really not a good thing. To those people who brag about having 657 friends on Facebook, do you really think you know all of them. You probably only know about a quarter of them. People will constantly know your business, and your name will enter people's mouths so fast, you won't even realise. Being a hood celebrity can get you into a lot of unnecessary beef and people that you love can end up hurt. as a female, being a hood celebrity can leave you with the reputation of a slut, which I highly doubt you would like. As for certain chicks that go around beg friending to gain popularity, what is he point? When you're applying to university nobody is going to care that you are Little Miss Blah-Blah. Them people who thought it was cool to bunk off of school because of prior engagements in the hood, we'll see wha gwan on the 27th of August. (Results day for those who weren't in school enough to know that).

Which leads onto my next section...

DUMB PEOPLE AKA "YEEDS" - FFS, For Fuck's Sake, as John kindly informed us ;), what have you idiots been doing for the past 12 years? I thought i was bad coz i forgot how to do some stuff, but some of you never even knew how to do it in the first place! You idiots are gonna blame the system in a few years, but the system didn't drag you into the alleyway for a quick fag, when you could have been learning how to do Simultaneous Equations, and the system certainly didn't tell you to play that gay copter game instead of learning about Myosis and Mitosis. I'm not even gonna lie, i spent whole lessons texting, listenig to music, writng songs and stories, eating Subway, straightening mine and other peoples' hair, sing ramping Shop, talking about sex, on the phone, taking pictures, playing pass the sniff, conspiring against teachers, watching films, drawing things, planning outings, reading books, planning parties and a whole lot more shit instead of learning, but we'll see who gets better results.

MANDEM PART 4 - Do you really think us girls lay in bed crying about you? We might have the off £6 feast, where a few tears are shed, but come on, we've got much better things to do. You ain't all that and a packet of Salt and Vinegar, trust me :). Them 'mans' that walk around ends with that swagger "Yeah i got chicks sprung on me fam"... "I make da gyaldem sing 4 me". The guy who sung that song looks like a blick rat. The gyaldem don't sing, they scream when they see you, blud! So here's a message for all you boys who think you got girls strung out. In the words of Martine McCutcheon "It's Sad But It's True, I'm Over You"

GIRLS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEIR BUSINESS TO THEMSELVES AND THEN COMPLAIN WHEN EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT THEM - If you didn't want people to know in the first place, why tell people. you must have wanted the attention in the first palce for you to be telling people your intimate and usually dirty personal business. In case you haven't realised, if you don't tell people your business you won't get exposed.