Let Me Lay Out The Scenario ... me and my girls are casually  jamming in a 'rave' (notice I said jamming - at a RAVE, but I'll come  back to that in a minute), and then some any Fobbi Lolo (aka FOBS for  those that don't know) that we unfortuantely knew entered. Now at first  we though "oh, he won't bother us. He'll just say 'hi' and go about his  business." Boy, were we wrong. Anyways, to cut a long story short, this  "boy" (or so he claims to be. I suspect he's actually 25) thought he  could be as sly as a rat, and would attempt to "game" each and every  member of our group, despite the fact that three out us had already  rejected Mr. Fobbi Lolo. Now, you're probably wondering, what was the  point of her writing this? Well, I'm basically letting any boys who  think they are smart that they should never attempt to "move to" more  than one person out of a group of friends, especially not under the same  roof.
As for the rest of you grandpa's, I beg oh - get the message please. I  don't know what kind of foolish non-entities you've been encountering  when you're out on but I beg you go home and read a book.
Anyways, let's get back on track...
GIRLS WHO FEEL THE NEED TO REP THEIR ETHNICITY/SKIN COLOUR IN THEIR FACEBOOK NAME -  Notice how long that title is... Over the past few months, I have  noticed many variations, from 'Cubaniita' to 'Boom Lightiie' to  'Miixed-Race' and finally, 'Brownin'. I'm sure that I'm not the only  person who tihs, and the fact that they usually put a double 'I' further  highlights their ignorance, boredom and stupidity. Before anyone  comments on the fact that I currently have 'Ghana' in my name, it is  simply there because I am proud that my country is competing in the  World Cup (yah dun kno, sho sho!) One thing I've also noticed is that  these 'girls' are usually either ugly, and only show their body in their  profile picture, or they have a Kat Stacks-style fringe covering most  of their face. Now I know it may sound like I'm hating, but I'm really  not. I'm simply stating the facts. Obviously, there are a few who are  genuinely pretty/decent, but they're a whole 'nother topic...
Which leads onto my next topic: 
GASSED-UP GIRLS/BOYS -Notice I said BOYS not MEN. Gassed-up boys  really hannoy me, and get on my tits. Why do you even exist? OK, I'm not  gonna front - So maybe I like you, once upon a time (don't worry, I'm  on the correct medication now), that doesn't mean you should think your  name is Reanno Gordon (Busy Signal ♥) and walk through Croydon singing  "Man ah Gyallist", coz it's more like "Man ah GASSED." If you catch me  looking at you for long periods of time, don't think I'm salivating over  you/getting wet - I'm actually thinking "Lawd God, he a ugly mu'fucka",  and I don't necessarily mean physically. Most people who are pretty on  the outside are rotting away on the inside. 
As for you gassed females - Are you deh craze?  Firstly, all you TWATS  calling yourselves Mrs Neverson, there's only one word for you -  "WISHIN!" as an old friend used to say. What fool borned you onto this  good Earth? Keep fantasising that Trey Songz is gonna come whisk you off  on tour with him, just coz he said "Which one of y'all goin' home with  Trigga." You're more likely to meet Giggs (aka The Biggest Thing Out of  Peckham) while you're wandering around in Westfield's frontin' like you  got that kinda money -_-
And to those of you who sit at home and get wet over so-called "Hood  Celebs", I beg you go to the library and check out a book. If you think  being a female hoodrat is a good luck you stay there then, while the  rest of us are adding letters to our names.
DEAD-OUT RAVES - Do not tell me it's gonna be a 'roadblock' event  - That was the first lie you told. Second lie - telling me it's free  entry before 11pm or whatever. It's hard times out here and you're  making poor people like me gassed thinking we're gonna rave it up for  free -_- These times I'm hungry and you're gonna be lucky if I even have  enough money, otherwise I woulda bought my food and gone home to my  bed. Also, if you want people to actually attend your rave, do not hold  it at the NW10 "Club" aka Dreamz. It should really be called Nightmarez  coz that's what I was having after I foolishly went to that "club". This  foolish piece of crust tryna masquerade as a club didn't even have  toilet roll, hot water or proper heating, and please tell me why the  walls were wet? As my yardie chums would say, AH WAH DI RASCLART, BOMBACLAT YUH AH TEK DIS FAH?!"
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