over the years, i've always seemed to put my "friends" before myself. i don't know why, but i#m just one of those people who cares too much. i think that will always be my downfall when it comes to people. i'm the kind of person who will drop everything for someone who calls me and claims to be having an emergency.
as time has passed, i slowly began to relise that people were not returning the favour. it always feels like i'm the one initiating outings or conversations, but nobody else seems to want to make the same effort wth me. so i started doing everything alone pretty much. i shop alone, if i feel like having a nice meal, i'll ordere a takeaway and enjoy it front of the tv or something. i don't see the point in chasing people up anymore. it always feels like i#m forcing coversations with people who can never be bothered to make the effort with me.
i always used to feel really alone, but now that i am actually alone, i feel fine. the only people i speak to on a daily basis now are the family members that i live with. i don't feel close to anyone anymore, and i thought i'd be really sad and lonely, but at the end of the day i'm going to die alone so what's the point of expecting to people to always be around.
the fact that i can't even rely on smeone to respond to a text message, but when they want something i'm expected to do it, no qestions asked, just proves what kind of people i used to be friends with.
they say keep your cicle tight, but at this moment in time, i don't even feel like i have enough real friends to form a circle.
i now find myself listening to michael jackson's "you are not alne" everydayl maybe that's why i feel happy lol
am sorry you feel that way .I've never expected anything for people because u never know their true motive.
ReplyDeletei have a tight circle only because i don't see the person as a friend i see them as a human being for who they really are.
I know enough bitches to not turn into one..
your true friends will find you trust.